Cara Cosentino Marino

Movies

Happy Feet: The Worst Movie To Watch When You’re Sick

Happy Feet: The Worst Movie To Watch When You’re Sick

When you’re sick, immobile, and everything hurts including your skin, your options for entertainment are somewhat limiting. It’s pretty much TV or ceiling-staring. I needed something to distract me from the elephant sitting on my head and the wheeze in my chest – yet nothing […]

Wonder Woman is Finally Cast, And It’s A Disappointing Choice

Wonder Woman is Finally Cast, And It’s A Disappointing Choice

According to Variety magazine, some skinny girl was cast to play Wonder Woman. According to very reliable sources, her name is Gal Gadot and bro, she doesn’t even lift. I mean – come on. I was really hoping that Wonder Woman would be cast with […]

The Only Catching Fires Review You’ll Ever Need

The Only Catching Fires Review You’ll Ever Need

Where has this reviewer been all of my life?? The Onion Reviews ‘The Hunger Games: Catching Fire’

I’ve Got Your Reboot Right Here.

I’ve Got Your Reboot Right Here.

As Hollywood constantly beats their dead spiderman and superman re-boot horse, they are overlooking obvious 80’s gold that can mined. The Greatest American Hero. This is SCREAMING for a reboot. We have had enough of competent, cool superheroes like Iron Man.  Oh, wow – you’re […]

One Man’s Opus is Another Man’s Aural Sodomy

One Man’s Opus is Another Man’s Aural Sodomy

Today I salute the worst cover version of “Beautiful Boy” ever recorded. After 1991’s tour de force “What About Bob?” – there was only one direction for Richard Dreyfuss to plummet, and that was down, down, down, into the bowels of hell. “What is this […]