Cara Cosentino Marino

One Man’s Opus is Another Man’s Aural Sodomy

One Man’s Opus is Another Man’s Aural Sodomy
Today I salute the worst cover version of “Beautiful Boy” ever recorded.

After 1991’s tour de force “What About Bob?” – there was only one direction for Richard Dreyfuss to plummet, and that was down, down, down, into the bowels of hell. “What is this place called”, you may wonder.

The answer?

Mr. Holland’s Opus.

 

Cliff(s)notes: Mr. Holland was a jerky ass musician with (IRONY ALERT) a deaf son, Cole. He “demeans” himself to be a music teacher position at some high school and although he’s great to the kids at school, he’s a giant bonehead to his own family, including refusing to learn sign language in order to communicate with his only son. (I KNOW, right?)

The years pass and he predictably makes differences in the kids lives (barf), and on his last day of teaching, they discover a symphony he wrote and perform it for him. It’s supposed to be very moving. I guess. Or something like that…I don’t know – look, it’s horrible don’t waste your time. Just watch “What About Bob”.

At one point in the “movie”, Holland decides to make up for all the years of his parenting ass-clownery by completely defiling John Lennon’s gorgeous “Beautiful Boy”. The first time I was subjected to this tomfoolery, I was uncomfortably squirming in my seat, not quite understanding what I was seeing. I was pretty sure I was witness to a crime and by the end of the song, when Dreyfuss is a sweaty mess, hands shaking, and pointing to his son, I wanted to call the authorities and drink bleach. I now know what autotune is for.

I present to you, Richard Dreyfuss as Mr. Holland, and his utter annihilation of “Beautiful Boy”:



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *